0:07
I Prioritized Raising Good Brothers Over Raising Good Sons
I have four sons, but even more than that, I am the mother of four brothers. My sons have always been very brother-forward, right from their first days as brothers. They are good sons, sure. They love me, sure. But man oh man, are they ever excellent brothers.
It started early. So early I don’t think the stitches from birthing son number two were even healed when his older brother started to want to be the main attraction. He wanted his baby brother to need him, not me. “Doesn’t he even know I’m his brother?” he complained to me, kicking at the end of the couch while I nursed the baby.
0:34
Should you switch to a dumbphone?
Welcome to Techno Sapiens! I’m Jacqueline Nesi, a psychologist, professor, and mom of three who, thanks to our sponsors at Light, is embracing a dumbphone summer! [But also, keeping my smartphone for emergencies 🙃].
For most of high school, I had a flip phone. Its benefits were numerous: I could absentmindedly open and close it while waiting for the bus, I could use its tiny keyboard to send T9 texts1 to my friends and crushes, and, most importantly, I could dramatically snap it shut after an angsty phone call with my mom.
Those were the days!
In recent years, I’ve found myself getting curious about returning to that time. Not for the arguments about whether a mini jean skirt and baby polo tee2 were appropriate attire for winter—sorry, Mom—but for the experience of a more “minimalist” phone. What would it be like to go back to the days of dumbphones?
Sapiens, I decided to find out.
For the past month, I teamed up with Light, makers of the popular, intentionally minimal Light Phone. The Light Phone III has the following: calls, texts, maps, podcasts, music, camera, alarm, calendar, timer, notes, and hotspot. More important, though, is what it does not have: a web browser, email, social media, and all the other apps that tend to distract us.
I tested it out, a few of our fellow sapiens tested it out, and we all came together to talk about it last week. So, how’d it go?
It wouldn’t be Techno Sapiens without a little research, so let’s start there. What does the evidence say about “dumbphones” or “minimalist phones” like the Light Phone?
To understand this, we need to look at the larger research literature on “digital disconnection,” or reducing some aspect of our technology use to improve well-being. You may remember that earlier this year, we discussed a helpful framework for digital disconnection.
The takeaway? There is a spectrum of potential disconnection strategies—from brief screen time limits to full-scale digital detoxes—and what works depends on who’s doing it, when, and maybe most importantly, why.
Earlier this year, researchers at Stanford published the results of a study specifically examining Light Phone use among college students. As with any traditional randomized trial, they randomly assigned some students to use a Light Phone and others to use their smartphones as usual. But they did something a little different, too: they also recruited a group of students who opted-in to using a Light Phone. These “high-interest” users saw flyers advertising free Light Phones and jumped on the opportunity.3
Participants used their Light Phone (or smartphone as usual) for one week, filling out four surveys during that time.
Here’s what they found:
All Light Phone users spent less time on their phone and social media
All Light Phone users also reported lower feelings of dependency on their phones, and greater agency or control over their use
There was no effect on positive emotions, feelings of productivity, social connection, or depressive symptoms
Only “high-interest” Light Phone users reported lower stress and higher life satisfaction
Here’s the takeaway: switching to a Light Phone had positive effects for all users, but it was most effective for those who wanted to do it.
It sounds obvious, but this is an important and consistent finding across the digital disconnection literature: we need to find strategies that work for us, personally. When we’re motivated to make a change—whether due to our preferences, values, or simply our capacity to try something new at the moment—it’s likely to be more effective.4
Maybe this research has you feeling motivated to make the switch to a dumbphone. If so, you might be wondering: is it actually possible? How do people survive in today’s world without a smartphone?
Well, thanks to our fearless fellow sapiens, who have tested it out and lived to tell the tale, we have some answers.
There were three basic approaches to using the Light Phone:
Some users (like me!) opted to keep their smartphone with the same number, and to get a different phone number for their Light Phone. They could then pick and choose: (1) who to give their Light Phone number to, and (2) when to use which phone (e.g., Light Phone for nature walks and quality time with family; smartphone for workday).5
Some users switched their number (and cell service) over entirely to the Light Phone. They kept their smartphone for emergencies—using Wi-Fi or the Light Phone’s hotspot when needed.
Other users fully took the plunge: switching entirely to the Light Phone and forging bravely ahead into a smartphone-free existence.
As we’d expect from the research, this varied a bit by person. A few users were too daunted by the set-up (and, in one case, the unfortunate co-occurrence of a baby’s sleep regression) to successfully make the switch.
3:50
The Seaesta Surf Zine - July 5th
I can’t believe I’m about to start shooting Fall & Back To School product!! I’m late to that like I always am but I’m a tiny little brand and there’s just so much to do all the time so I usually end up shooting stuff right before I need to launch. Kind of like college when I’d wait until the night before a paper was due to stay up all night and write. Oops!
Did you see these cute lounge sets we launched last week? My daughter lives in hers - perfect for post beach or pool! Thanks to my friend Krissy for letting me borrow her daughter + pool for the day!
We finally had an epic tomato harvest this weekend! We celebrated with Ina’s Summer Garden Pasta & Wishbone Kitchen’s Tomato Galette. I made Ina’s pasta with this Brightland x Hill House Chili-flavored oil and it was sooo good.
Definitely made Carolina Gelen’s strawberry cake for the fourth, per usual!
I made a riff on this Alison Roman pasta salad for the fourth. I did the zucchini, chopped parm & then made my own dressing for it and left the nuts out because of allergies. I also carmelized some red onion instead of doing the scallions and it was a good little crunch. The dressing was: olive oil, lemon, honey mustard & garlic.
We are growing tomatillos and had a huge harvest so we did fish tacos and made a salsa verde! We made it up as we went along but for a recipe, I highly recommend following Ana Tovar Nelson. She has a ton of salsa recipes and has never let me down!
I also made this app I saw on IG that was grilled halloumi on sliced cucumbers + drizzled with olive oil, hot honey & lemon!
We just go this rug for our bedroom + loved this one too! Use my Ruggable code JULIAW15 for 15% off!
Here’s a little round up of my summer essentials for peak summer season this month!
My Le Specs sunnies are 30% off - so bummed I got them before the sale!
These towels & these pillow shams we have from Parachute are super on sale
I just got a screen-free Camp Snap camera to take on our summer trip! They’re on sale through today but I also have a code: JULIAWH7 for 7% off
After transporting salads to so many parties, I realized I really need to invest in these Crow Canyon bowls. I hate plastic wrap (never works! bad for the environment!) and these are just so easy and cute.
I like the idea of making this photo album after our summer trip. Will I do it? No clue! But I want to!
My Pinterest algorithm fed me a couple of cute seashell things I need! This key (yes, like a house key!) and this basket.
Here are some other discount codes:
Ruggable: JULIAW15 for 15% off // love this hot pink + gold checker rug
Coco & Eve: JWHEELER15 for 15% off // I used this tanning foam all weekend and it didn’t streak AT ALL and I’m terrible at applying tanner!
Vitamin A: JULIA10 for 10% off // love this button up + this suit
Drool: JULIAW15 for 15% off artwork like this framed one we have
Laundry Sauce: JWHEELER15 for 15% off laundry pods & dryer sheets
We Feed Raw: SEAESTAxWFR for 40% off their pet foot our dog loves
I finished Great Big Beautiful Life today. I basically give everything four stars and I’d give this one the same. The lady they were interviewing had a very slow-moving story that got a little boring for me but the little twist at the end was cute. A good little summer read but prob not my favorite Emily Henry. I started listening to Funny Story on Libby today. So far, pretty good. I’ll report back next week :)
Did you ever see this clip from Amelia Dimoldenberg (Chicken Shop Date) & Ethan Hawke about love? The sun doesn’t care if the grass appreciates its rays. GAH.
6:16
Albertine
Albertine is a vintage‑sounding, slightly aristocratic French name that peaked in early‑20th‑century France and made the U.S. Top 1000 from the 1880s through the 1920s. It fell out of common use, but it shares the same clunky charm as Alma, Dorothea, and Clementine, and it feels both spirited and substantial.
The name’s recent buzz comes from Instagram mom Rebecca Woolridge, who paired Maya with Albertine for one of her triplet girls. That exposure has sparked interest in its nickname possibilities—Bo, Bertie, Alba, Albie, Bernie, Betsy, Allie, Bina, Berry—giving it a modern, flexible edge despite its old‑world roots.
If you like names that blend a French aristocratic vibe with a playful, “bouncy” sound, Albertine might be worth a second look. It’s a solid, slightly off‑beat choice for anyone who enjoys a name that feels both historic and fresh.
6:53
Siân Kelly shares five things she's loving right now
**A quick announcement that I’ll be going live this Thursday morning, July 9th at 8am AEST here on Substack. I’d love to talk about raising tweens and teens. I’m doing a bit of research and I’d love to hear your experiences, any challenges you’ve had, and the things you’ve loved about parenting teens. I’ll also be answering any questions you have. You can join me here.
I met , her husband, Kai, and their 3yo daughter, Olive, last year when we spent a few days down in Tasmania photographing autumnal scenes for our book. We spent a sunny afternoon with them in Hobart, making leaf masks and beautiful leaf mandalas. We talked photography (Kai is a photographer) and op-shopping (Siân is a collector) and they shared about their recent move from the Sunshine Coast to Dodges Ferry, the peninsula just north of Hobart. We loved meeting this adorable young family — my daughter, Ivy, was particularly smitten with little Olive.
In fact, it is Siân and Olive who are on the cover of our new book, which makes me incredibly happy. 👇🏻
This past March, Siân and Kai welcomed a son, Ishka, into their family, so they are now a family of four. Siân shares reflective snippets of postpartum life on her Instagram and I love following along. She has a way of capturing the beauty and mess, the joys and demands of early motherhood in a way that feels so real and relatable.
While juggling family life, she and Kai run a creative agency, and they bring fresh ideas and thoughtful strategy to their partnerships.
I was so happy Siân was up for sharing five things she’s loving right now (email sent to me while holding a 4-month-old baby on her chest!).
The Artist’s Way book
I know we have probably heard about this book 100 times as creatives, but since I fell pregnant with my second, I have had this creative surge more than ever! As a writer and mother to two young children, it can be hard to find the time. So, I feel this book and the prompts inside it mixed with my creative surges, is a recipe for me finding that time I so desperately need even if it means other things get put on the back burner for a bit.
Community!
I feel like most people discover the value of community when they have their first child, but for us, having our second baby (just 4 months ago) is when the importance of community was really driven home for us. Both in how people show up for us and in how we too can contribute to our community. We have been having small dinner gatherings almost weekly with our closest friends, rotating houses each week. It’s been so beautiful and something we look forward to each week.
The Solana Wool Coat by Assembly Label sold out quickly and I had to hunt it down. The women of Depop pulled through! Living in Tasmania, you quickly come to realise how important good quality warm clothes are, and I am glad I’ve finally come around to purchasing my first woollen coat.
4. Learning to knit
There is such an amazing community of mother knitters here in our little seaside town and it’s really inspired me to start learning how to knit. My partner bought me some wool and needles for Christmas from our local wool shop, as I wanted to learn to do something with my hands whilst postpartum with my son. I’m making beanies for the whole family!
5. A warm drink, day or night
It’s now winter here in Tasmania, quite literally at the bottom of the country! We are coming into 0 degree mornings, so sitting in front of the fire with a coffee or a cacao is where it’s at. A couple of friends delivered a warming lavender, cinnamon & cardamom milky drink to me postpartum and I have been trying to recreate it most nights this week. (I just mix lavender, cinnamon, cardamon pods and honey into almond milk and gently simmer.) Its bliss!
Big thanks to Siân for sharing these five things. So many friends have recommended The Artist’s Way book to me and I’ve never bought it. This is my sign!
You can pre-order our new book now and it will be delivered to your doorstep in early September (you’ll find more cute pics of Olive and lots of cute autumnal activities from our shot in the book!).
To see what other friends have shared as five things they’re loving, click here. And if you’d like to share five things you’re currently loving, please reach out to me.
Lots of love,
Courtney x
