my readers have been asking me to release a journal, a 30 day one at the least and that’s what i did, it’s on sale for a limited time, click here if you’re interested.
i’ve had so many conversations around the way people show up in the beginning and while, it is true that the mask usually falls off later, there are also moments where the mask slips a little before falling completely and it’s those moments that you may be missing…
no one ignores a red flag out of stupidity…
you ignore them because you’re sitting in a space of hope and they’re warm in the exact places your last partner was cold. you know how it goes… it’s early AF and you don’t want to be the one who ruins something good over “ nothing…” and so… you begin to file things under maybe i’m overthinking and you keep going…
hmmm… but the talking stage is not the calm before the relationship; it often becomes an audition. it usually involves them showing you, in a hundred small ways, exactly who they plan to be once they’re comfortable. the biggest problem is never that the signs weren’t there… the problem is you were taught to explain them away.
so, here are the ones women miss the most, read slowly, some of these are going to sting because you’ve already survived them but also, let me know if i missed anything!!
wait… wait…
before the list, one more thing…
not everything is a red flag
and sometimes a person is just tired, weary. stressed out. there are times where they say the wrong thing because they’re nervous, not because they’re dangerous. if you treat every flaw like a warning, you’ll punish good people for your ex’s emotional crimes and you’ll never let anyone close enough to matter..
when you read this list and when you experience these things, pay attention to what your body feels and pay attention to ongoing patterns, this is how you’ll be able to catch the real red flags and the people whose only intention is to waste your time!
okay, lets go……
they text constantly but say nothing. presence without substance.
they ask what you’re looking for, then get vague when you answer honestly.
they call every ex “crazy” and never once say what they did.
they mirror your interests too fast. suddenly they love everything you love.
they compliment your body before they compliment your mind.
they go quiet whenever the conversation gets real.
they remember what you said only when it benefits them.
they make plans loosely, so they can cancel without guilt.
they bring up sex earlier than they bring up feelings.
they tell you you’re “different from everyone they’ve dated,” a compliment built on tearing someone else down.
they apologize fast to end the conversation, not to fix it.
they want to know your past but hide their own.
they’re warmer over text than they are in person.
they introduce you to no one.
they test your reactions with “jokes.”
