0:04
Kash Patel Calls For Public’s Help Using Computer
WASHINGTON—Urging anyone with knowledge of the electronic device to come forward, FBI Director Kash Patel issued a statement Tuesday asking for the public’s help using the computer. “If any Americans have information related to the operation of a Lenovo laptop running Windows—at least I think it’s Windows, anyway—we encourage them to very slowly talk me through it by reaching out to our tip line at 1-800-CALL-FBI,” said Patel, adding that the agency was offering a reward of up to $40,000 for anyone who provided a tip leading to his ability to reset the password to his official government email
0:23
Geologist Reunited With Beloved Rock He Studied 20 Years Ago
SPOKANE VALLEY, WA—Experiencing a range of emotions from excitement to joy to nostalgia, 49-year-old geologist Alan Hargroder was reportedly reunited Tuesday with a beloved rock that he had studied over 20 years earlier. “Oh my God, I can’t believe it remembers me,” said the University of Idaho professor, who embraced the piece of sedimentary rock in a heartwarming scene that left observers wiping tears from their eyes. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised; they say shale never forgets a face. I missed you too, buddy! My, you’ve gotten so big.
0:40
Newborn Baby Can Already Tell Parents’ Genetics Not Going To Do Him Any Favors
LAS VEGAS—Expressing frustration after interacting with the unsightly couple during his first few minutes in the world, local newborn Charles “Charlie” Womack could reportedly already tell Tuesday that his parents’ genetics were not going to do him any favors. “Oh boy, looks like I’m gonna have to put all my eggs in the personality basket,” Womack said while mentally cataloging his parents’ pronounced foreheads, weak chins, poor posture, and flabby physiques.
0:56
Christopher Nolan Recalls Building Fully Practical Tom Holland For ‘The Odyssey’
LOS ANGELES—Touting his commitment to authentic visual effects, filmmaker Christopher Nolan revealed Tuesday that he built a fully practical Tom Holland for his latest film, The Odyssey. “When you see Telemachus standing on the terrace overlooking Ithaca, you’ll say, ‘That’s got to be CGI’—but I can assure you, that’s bona fide Tom Holland,” said Nolan, who recalled how his special effects team of artisans and craftspeople worked relentlessly over a 10-month period to create the British actor. “It was a lot of blood, sweat, and tears.
1:14
Enjoy Our Beach House, but Please Don’t Open the Beguiling Door of Mystery
Welcome to your beachside getaway. We are so glad to have you as our guests. Feel free to unpack, relax, kick off your shoes, and become better acquainted with your surroundings.
Your vacation officially starts now…
Just a tiny request. You see how the house has one locked door? The nondescript, yet alluring door catty-corner to the second-floor powder room?
Do not try to open it.
It may be five o’clock somewhere, but it is never ominous door o’clock here, no matter how it beckons.
A few quick “A’s” for your “Q’s”.
