Aug 17, 2026 · 2 min listen · Last updated August 17, 2026
From storyflo. This is your daily audio brief. Hey, it's Wit. August 17th. Seven in comedy — pour the coffee, this gets weird fast. Let's get into it. First, from The Hard Times. The Next Trump? This IT Chud Keeps Threatening To Delete Civilization Game From My Work Laptop.
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Daily Comedy Brief · August 17th
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The Next Trump? This IT Chud Keeps Threatening To Delete Civilization Game From My Work Laptop
If we lived in a country that wasn’t unmoored from morality and reality, President Trump’s genocidal threat to the Iranian people, “a whole civilization will die tonight,” would have inspired some soul-searching for more than one 24-hour news cycle. And while I’m not trying to suggest that flouting a workplace’s Code of Conduct is as scandalous and shameful as disregarding the Geneva Conventions, my company’s new IT guy repeated threats to delete my Civilization game from my work laptop should make it clear to our head of HR that this chud is a Trump-level sleazebag.
As a parent, I am required to obtain a car seat that must withstand a direct missile strike but am expected to look the other way when an inflatable UFC octagon with no referee is a main feature at nearly every birthday party. Admittedly, I had fun bouncing when I was a kid, but this isn’t the 90s. Back then, parents didn’t face communal expulsion for infractions such as failing to stock every playdate with Honest Apple Juice boxes, MadeGood chocolate chip granola bars, and a mortgage payment worth of fruit.
MAGA Rapper Earns Street Cred After Snitching to the Cops
“I was walking out of 7-Eleven and I saw some guy letting the air out of the tires of this cop car in the parking lot,” Red stated. “I immediately walked back into the store and told the cop what I had witnessed. I had already built up a rapport with him the first time I was in there, because I had of course thanked him for his service and offered to buy him his coffee. He was able to catch that punk, and the next thing I know I’m getting mad respect from all my fellow MAGA rappers.