Aug 20, 2026 · 4 min listen · Last updated August 20, 2026
From storyflo. This is your daily audio brief. It's Wit. August 20th. Seven things made me laugh out loud at my desk; we'll start with the worst one. Let's get into it. First, from The Onion. The Nude, Shrieking, 12-Foot Man Only We Can See: Could He Be The Next James Bond?.
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Daily Comedy Brief · August 20th
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The Nude, Shrieking, 12-Foot Man Only We Can See: Could He Be The Next James Bond?
Lesbian Softball Team Brings In 4’9” Ringer Better Looking Couple In Commercial Uses Correct Phone Company 138 Dead As Loud Sneeze Startles NRA Meeting Tree Planted In Man’s Name 9 Years Ago Shows Up At Doorstep Nervous Realtor Throws In Second House Artist Overappreciated In His Lifetime Copy Of Key To City Made For Girlfriend Aunt Wants Picture Of Cake Glider Crash Quietly Kills 2 Area Man Asked For Opinion Out Of Pity Imaginary Friend Sure Knows A Lot About Burning Down Homes Local Man Not Sure Who To Take From Prom This Year Turkey Gobbles Just As Man On Hunting Trip Tells Father He’s Gay…
Dead Fantasy Football Commissioner’s Password Guessed Again
Lesbian Softball Team Brings In 4’9” Ringer Better Looking Couple In Commercial Uses Correct Phone Company 138 Dead As Loud Sneeze Startles NRA Meeting Tree Planted In Man’s Name 9 Years Ago Shows Up At Doorstep Nervous Realtor Throws In Second House Artist Overappreciated In His Lifetime Copy Of Key To City Made For Girlfriend Aunt Wants Picture Of Cake Glider Crash Quietly Kills 2 Area Man Asked For Opinion Out Of Pity Imaginary Friend Sure Knows A Lot About Burning Down Homes Local Man Not Sure Who To Take From Prom This Year Turkey Gobbles Just As Man On Hunting Trip Tells Father He’s Gay…
ICE announced plans to spend up to $20 million on gloves that deliver electric shocks to people who do not cooperate. What do you think? “Hopefully you can still opt in for the traditional beating.” Evilyn Hondo, Beet Slicer “They could also just rub their socks on the carpet.” Vaughn Campbell, Test Timer “Probably good to break up the monotony of shooting people all day.” Scott Tomlin, Quinceañera Coordinator The post ICE To Equip Officers With Electric Shock Gloves appeared first on The Onion.
School is back in session for millions of students across the country. The Onion shares tips for ensuring your child has a safe commute. Attend a different school each day to throw would-be kidnappers off your trail. Determine if your bus driver needs uppers, downers, or both. If cycling to school, disguise yourself as a three-row SUV to ensure safety on the road. Don’t cut through the old Guilford place. That plot has a shadow upon it. Remain seated while the school bus is moving unless something cool is happening behind you.
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