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Schumer and Jeffries Hold Emergency Meeting With Trump to Brainstorm Insulting Nicknames for DSA Candidates
WASHINGTON — Democratic leadership met with President Trump to seek help coming up with “sick burns and zingers” for their shared political rivals, sources confirm. “Obviously, we don’t see eye to eye with Donald Trump on much. For instance, he wants a massive military budget and unwavering support for Israel, while we want a massive military budget, unwavering support for Israel and school lunch programs,” said Hakeem Jeffries while packing for an AIPAC-funded cruise.
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Church Organ
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Doctor Reassures Patient That Lump Probably Just Body Making Extra Guy
COLUMBUS, OH—Telling the 54-year-old there was no reason to panic over the fist-sized bulge that had recently begun shifting beneath the skin of his abdomen, local physician Alan Keller reportedly reassured patient Eric Madsen on Wednesday that the lump was probably just his body making an extra guy. “At your age, it’s perfectly normal to notice some changes—your metabolism slows down, your hair starts thinning, and occasionally your body begins assembling unused cartilage and tissue into a smaller, extremely wet person,” said Dr.
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New Meta Glasses Feature Reminds Users To Blink To Appear Human
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Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Moving Back To U.K.
“I’ve got some spare packing tape and old newspapers if they need it.” Bashir Jain, Chair Sander “Colony life isn’t for everyone.” Herman Schultheis, Harpsichord Tuner “England’s attitude towards mixed-race couples has come a long way since 2019.” Margarita Calvo, Wax Melter The post Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Moving Back To U.K. appeared first on The Onion.
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My Annual Performance, as Reviewed by My Dog
Please rate Erica on a scale of 1-5 on how she demonstrates the following: Erica does fantastic treat work, always offering me a tasty morsel after walks, even though she doesn’t contribute to our daily quota for eating grass. Erica often delays leaving the house because of something she calls a “job,” which, from the best I can discern, is just staring at (and sometimes talking to) a glowing screen. She would benefit from improving her time management to meet walk deadlines more consistently. It would behoove Erica to think more outside the crate.