Sep 23, 2026 · 3 min listen · Last updated September 23, 2026
From storyflo. This is your daily audio brief. Wit, September 23rd. That's the joke. Here's why it landed — seven of them, actually. Let's get into it. First, from McSweeney's Internet Tendency. GIRL CODE: What He Texts vs. What He Really Means.
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Daily Comedy Brief · September 23rd
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GIRL CODE: What He Texts vs. What He Really Means
Down 2 hang tomorrow? Are you free this Friday? Not looking for anything serious I’m only asking because I’m looking for someone But we could still have fun To drive me out into the woods R u on Snapchat? No weird stuff, just digging a deep, wet hole deep into the woods and watching as I lay down in it You also will be covering me in the dirt Not sure when I’m free tho U up? But don’t worry, I’ll be quiet A quiet little Parisian boy DTF? In this scenario, I’m from Paris Couvre-moi de terre s’il te plaît maman What r u wearing? And this isn’t one of those classic situations where I’ll do the…
You’ve Always Been This Way is a column written by Taylor Harris, a late-diagnosed neurodivergent woman and 1980s preschool dropout, who identifies every moment from her past that filled her with shame, and mutters, “Yep, that tracks. I see it all now.” This morning, on a walk around my neighborhood with two poorly-behaved poodle mixes, I stopped once again for the baby pine cone. This one already dropped and disentangled, waiting at the border of a small garden. I remembered then: Writing can be small and wrapped, layered and touching, tight and nearly eternal in depth.
The White House has launched a new video channel, “Trump TV: The Essentials Station,” just after President Trump decided to cut ties with CNN and other outlets. This channel promises to deliver news straight from the president, bypassing what he calls the “lying mainstream media.”
Programming kicks off with Ted Nugent singing the national anthem while gargling coffee—because why not start the day with a caffeine-fueled warble? Then, Stephen Miller takes a deep dive into cinematic history with a recitation of *The Birth of a Nation*, which is probably not the kind of history lesson anyone asked for.
As the day rolls on, we’ll get a ribbon-cutting for a new helipad, but don’t expect any audio; it’s all about the visuals, right? Health Secretary RFK Jr. will show us how to prepare roadkill, which feels like a real culinary masterclass. And then there’s Kid Rock, who will shoot a giant cheese wheel, because nothing says “American values” like dairy destruction.
The lineup continues with a series of bizarre segments, including a live-stream from Natalie Harp that inadvertently captures just her smile instead of the Oval Office. As the day wraps up, President Trump delivers a lengthy address that somehow ties Canada to moose smuggling fentanyl. The night closes with infomercials and a chaotic global conflict that escalates into nuclear war, all while Natalie’s smile remains the only constant. It’s like a dystopian sitcom that nobody asked to binge-watch.