Sep 26, 2026 · 3 min listen · Last updated September 26, 2026
From storyflo. This is your daily audio brief. Wit here, September 26th. The comedy desk — seven sets, sketches, and stunts worth your eight minutes. Let's get into it. First, from The Onion. Lana Del Rey, Husband Celebrate Anniversary At Gas Station Subway.
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Daily Comedy Brief · September 26th
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Lana Del Rey, Husband Celebrate Anniversary At Gas Station Subway
Lana Del Rey and her husband, Jeremy Dufrene, marked their second wedding anniversary in a rather unconventional setting—a gas station Subway. The couple was spotted sharing laughs while ordering their sandwiches, with Lana opting for a foot-long Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki and Jeremy going for a Meatball Pepperoni, both clearly embracing the romance of fast food.
Their celebration included a trip to the refrigerated section for drinks, where Jeremy let Lana pick her favorite Monster energy drink. The evening reached peak charm when he surprised her with a neon "God Bless America" T-shirt and a Blu-ray of Ride Along 2. The whole scene was captured by TMZ, showing them sharing a kiss in the parking lot while enjoying a piece of Jack Link’s jerky. Just another day in the life of a celebrity couple, right?
Police Insist They Wouldn’t Need Flock Cameras If Women Would Just Stay Where They’re Supposed To
In Oklahoma City, police are defending their use of Flock Safety license plate readers, suggesting that if women just stayed in designated areas, the surveillance wouldn’t be necessary. Lt. Travis McElroy remarked that women’s independent choices could lead to chaos, like enjoying themselves without male supervision. Meanwhile, women’s rights advocates are rethinking their opposition after experiencing what they describe as “extremely persistent” outreach from police, including late-night visits. Flock, the company behind the cameras, claims their technology isn’t solely aimed at controlling women but has broader targets, including activists and journalists. The absurdity peaks with McElroy yelling at his ex-wife about knowing her whereabouts.
We Revisit Trace Adkins’ “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” Because It Just Officially Replaced the National Anthem
The piece treats the absurdity of a bill that officially swaps the Star‑Spangled Banner for Trace Adkins’ “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.” It opens by admitting the writers aren’t patriotic zealots, but they can’t help feeling the change disrespects the flag, especially when the new anthem is a bar‑room ode to a woman’s rear.
It then drifts into a litany of cultural missteps—Kid Rock workout videos from the health secretary, a president celebrating his birthday with UFC fights on the lawn—painting the song as the logical endpoint of a nation that’s already lost its sense of decorum.
The author riffs on the imagined classroom scene: kids forced to stand for a country‑wide sing‑along about “Donkey Kong” vibes, while MAGA fans clutch their trucker hats at NASCAR. The tone is half‑amused, half‑exasperated, suggesting history will forget any protest against it.
Finally, the article notes DraftKings is already taking bets on which .38 Special tune will replace “God Bless America,” implying the whole thing is a farcical side‑show rather than a genuine cultural shift.