1.
Recipe For Disaster
Judgment cloudy with a high chance of regret Judgment cloudy with a high chance of regret Extra-Cruel Eggs 75 Cents A Dozen Sharp Chest Pain Eaten Through Penis Dripping All Over The Darn Place Coffee Bad, Just Like Everything Else In Man’s Life Lamaze Class 90% De-Escalation Techniques Woman Never Sure What To Do With Child That Comes With Placenta 32-Year-Old Savors Final Years Of Childhood Dog Understands Loneliness Of Success After Tug Of War Victory Sign Clarifies Street Named After Different Martin Luther King Lesbian Softball Team Brings In 4’9” Ringer Autistic Husband Gifted Label…
2.
DNA Provides More Evidence Thomas Jefferson Fathered Children With Sally Hemings
DNA analysis of a lock of Thomas Jefferson’s hair has provided the strongest genetic evidence yet that he did in fact father at least one child with the enslaved woman Sally Hemings, as has long been speculated. What do you think? “The Federalists are going to have a field day with this one.” Chad Sansom, Glove Fitter “Just another attempt to slander slave owners.” Isabel Recinos, Wallpaper Scout “The DNA is probably just saying that for attention.” Edgar Bowen, Salmon Handler The post DNA Provides More Evidence Thomas Jefferson Fathered Children With Sally Hemings appeared first on The Onion.
3.
What To Know About ‘The Social Reckoning’
Q: Who’s the writer and director? A: Aaron Sorkin and, unfortunately, Aaron Sorkin. Q: What’s it about? A: As fans will recall, Eduardo sacrificed himself at the end of the first film to save the Tree of Harvard from the WinkleLords, but this film follows his now-grown children as they search for the remaining Meta Crystals. Q: How did Jeremy Strong prepare to play Mark Zuckerberg? A: He spent months learning how to give thousands of teen girls eating disorders.
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FBI Classifies Not Finishing Hamburger As Seditious Activity
5.
Crossword Clues Where It’s Clear the Puzzle’s Creator Got Themselves into a Jam Letter-wise
Roadside service one might call to repair a flat tire + an organization for recovering alcoholics + a popular battery size Txt. one might send if they thought something was funny, but their O key was broken and instead typed a Z The National Association of Xylophone X-Ray Zebra Paleontologists, briefly The sound a chicken bone may make when accidentally dropped into a garbage disposal May appear in a purple Connections category labeled “Names of birds preceded by two vowels” The sound a cow might make when spanked Onomatopoeia in a Batman comic panel where he’s flipping a pancake The sound a…
6.
A Short History of the Norse Defeat at Stamford Bridge for Bostonians
In 1066, England was in chaos after the king's death, leading to a power struggle reminiscent of a medieval Game of Thrones. Harold with an “o” emerged as the unlikely hero, stepping up as the new king despite his non-royal roots. Meanwhile, Harald with an “a” and his ally Tostig were plotting their own claims to the throne. Tostig, exiled and seeking revenge, teamed up with Harald to invade England, initially scoring victories at Fulford Gate and York.
But their luck ran out at Stamford Bridge, where the English army, led by Harold, caught the Norwegians completely off guard. Picture it: the Vikings, blissfully unaware, were busy roasting marshmallows and trading jokes when the English showed up. One berserker put up a fierce fight on the bridge, but even he met his end in a rather anticlimactic fashion. The battle was brutal, with heavy losses on both sides, but the English ultimately triumphed. Harold’s victory was short-lived, though, as news arrived that William and his Normans had landed on the other side of the country, putting a serious damper on the celebration.
Also, if you’re interested in a more accessible take on this history, there's a new book out, “Children of Tax and Tea,” which breaks down Norse history for Bostonians. It’s illustrated and written in standard English, so you won’t need a Southie translator to figure it out. Plus, if you’re around Boston, the authors are doing a signing at Maxima Book Center on October 18.