Oct 20, 2026 · 4 min listen · Last updated October 20, 2026
From storyflo. This is your daily audio brief. Wit here, October 20th. The comedy desk — seven sets, sketches, and stunts worth your eight minutes. Let's get into it. First, from The Hard Times. Riley Gaines Places Fifth in Riley Gaines Lookalike Contest.
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Daily Comedy Brief · October 20th
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Riley Gaines Places Fifth in Riley Gaines Lookalike Contest
She took to social media to voice her outrage, claiming that the judges were biased and that the other contestants—mostly blonde women—shouldn’t have been allowed to compete. She’s calling for a disqualification of her rivals and demanding her rightful $20 Applebee’s gift card.
The winning contestant, Kelly Griswald, was caught off guard by the whole situation. She entered the contest on a whim with a friend, not realizing it would turn into a spectacle. Gaines crashed the podium, insisting on some rather bizarre demands, including an odd request for the other contestants to show her their vaginas. Talk about a party crasher!
Things took a political turn when Gaines called Tennessee senators to complain about the “injustice.” Senator Marsha Blackburn jumped on the bandwagon, declaring that if a conservative woman loses, everyone involved should face consequences.
In a twist of irony, Gaines has since launched a GoFundMe to start a new lookalike contest where she’ll be the only contestant. It seems she’s determined to reclaim her title—whatever that means in a Walmart parking lot.
We Sat Down With Batman, Who Opened Up About His Rabies Diagnosis
Batman recently opened up about his unexpected rabies diagnosis, revealing that he caught it from his adoptive batmom during a seemingly innocent nip. The conversation took a dark turn as he reflected on the chaos that ensued, including the tragic fate of his adoptive batdad.
When asked about his relationship with Robin, Batman joked about being the sidekick, highlighting the support Robin provided during a moment of crisis that nearly led him to abandon his no-kill code. Robin’s candid response to watching Batman struggle? "Sucks."
With a mix of humor and despair, Batman described his physical state—shivering, irritable, and teetering on the edge of a zombie-like existence. Despite the seriousness of rabies, he pointed out the lack of awareness surrounding the disease, especially in Gotham.
As the interview wrapped up, Batman prepared to return to a 24-hour animal hospital for treatment, where he would be isolated and monitored. In a moment of vulnerability, he broke down, but Robin assured him they would get through this together, emphasizing that this stigma is just one of many they’ve faced.
These days, it feels like hard work just isn’t cutting it, right? But don’t worry, the American Dream is still hanging on by a thread, and it turns out online prediction markets might be your ticket. Picture this: you’ve got student loans looming over you, and the solution is to bet on military operations. Sounds wild? It gets better. If saving for a home feels like a slow crawl, why not wager on a major sports event? Bonus points if you’re one of the players and can throw the game.
Worried about college funds? Forget Phil the groundhog; it’s all about the guy in the top hat making the calls. And if you’re dreaming of a lake house, just bet on the L train running on time. It’s all about finding those quirky opportunities. Want to corner the egg market? Just buy every egg around. Totally legal, right?
Thinking bigger? Bet on climate change and invest in a coal plant—because who doesn’t want to profit from impending doom? And if you’re eyeing a yacht, why not make yourself Time’s Person of the Year while you’re at it?
Eventually, you might find yourself at the pinnacle of wealth, only to notice a new market betting against your downfall. It’s a bit rude, but maybe it’s a chance for easy money. If Kalshi doesn’t pan out, there’s always Polymarket waiting for you. The American Dream? Still alive, just with a few more twists than we expected.