Oct 23, 2026 · 6 min listen · Last updated October 23, 2026
From storyflo. This is your daily audio brief. Wit here, October 23rd. The comedy desk — seven sets, sketches, and stunts worth your eight minutes. Let's get into it. First, from McSweeney's Internet Tendency. An Open Letter to Everyone at Gate B32 Who Is Clearly Jealous of My Airport Wheelchair.
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Daily Comedy Brief · October 23rd
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An Open Letter to Everyone at Gate B32 Who Is Clearly Jealous of My Airport Wheelchair
Elizabeth writes an open letter to fellow passengers at Gate B32, addressing their envy as she glides past them in an airport wheelchair. She acknowledges the perks of her situation, like being the first to board and having her luggage handled by someone else. Despite the challenges of her condition, she finds humor in the absurdity of needing to remove her shoes at security and the attention she receives from TSA agents. Elizabeth embraces her role as the center of attention, relishing the special treatment and the ease of her travel experience. She playfully reminds her fellow travelers that they, too, might one day join her ranks, turning their envy into a shared experience.
Bon Iver Reveals ‘Skinny Love’ About Snapping Into a Slim Jim
Justin Vernon, the man behind Bon Iver, just dropped a bombshell: his iconic song "Skinny Love" is actually about his love for Slim Jims. After spending time alone in a cabin, he decided it was time to confess that the emotional ballad was inspired by his favorite snack. He’s been living off these meat sticks, even crafting stick figures out of them for companionship.
Slim Jim's representative, dressed like Macho Man Randy Savage, expressed their delight, claiming the song and their snacks are a perfect pairing. It’s a match made in processed meat heaven.
Music critic Samantha Giest chimed in, noting that many emotional songs are secretly about food. She humorously pointed out that classics like "Careless Whisper" and "My Heart Will Go On" have surprising snack-related origins.
Now, Vernon plans to release a new album dedicated to all his favorite meat products. So, if you thought "Skinny Love" was deep, wait until you hear what he has in store next.
‘Now My Breasts Are Over Here,’ Announces Sydney Sweeney Peeking Out From Oak Tree
Sydney Sweeney recently made quite the entrance, popping out from behind an oak tree in Los Angeles with a playful announcement about her breasts. With a grin, she teased onlookers, moving from tree to telephone pole, then to an oleander bush and even a playground slide. It’s like a game of hide-and-seek, but with a twist that only she could pull off.
She continued the cheeky banter, asking if people were searching for her breasts and suggesting they might be hiding in unexpected places, like a gopher hole or even a filing cabinet. The absurdity peaked when a child reportedly ran home in a panic, claiming to have found her breasts under his bed. It’s a surreal moment that feels like a scene from a comedy sketch, leaving everyone wondering what will happen next in this bizarre saga.
Dad Losing His Fucking Mind Over Box Seat Amenities
In Chicago, local dad Bruce Etheridge is having a full-on existential crisis over the amenities in a Blackhawks game box suite. He’s bouncing around like a kid on a sugar high, marveling at the spread of free food and drinks. Hot dogs, nachos, steak sliders—he's acting like he just discovered a treasure trove. At one point, he collapses onto a leather couch, plate piled high, and keeps reminding his kids that the tickets were $250 each, as if he had actually paid for them.
His strategy for the dessert cart is a masterclass in parental panic: “Grab as many brownies as you can!” he instructs, like they’re on a mission to save the world from wasted snacks. And then there’s the Stella Artois revelation—he’s practically giddy, pointing out the gold foil on the bottle like it’s a trophy. Meanwhile, he’s calling for his wife to take a picture of a local celebrity in another box, clearly living his best life while his kids are just trying to enjoy the game. It’s a wild mix of joy and embarrassment, and honestly, it’s hard not to chuckle at the sheer enthusiasm.
Increasingly Healthy Pope Asserts He Will Soon Be Strong Enough To Battle God
Pope Leo XIV is feeling better than ever, claiming he’ll soon be strong enough to take on God Himself. In a rather theatrical address from St. Peter’s balcony, he thanked the faithful for their support and boasted about his returning strength, even flexing his muscles a bit. He humorously suggested that with a little more rest, he’d be ready to confront the Almighty, envisioning a showdown where he might even chokeslam God. The pope didn’t stop there; he playfully threatened to make Jesus a footrest afterward. It’s a bold statement, to say the least, and definitely a unique approach to divine relations.
DC Clarifies ‘Clayface’ Not Connected To Matt Reeves’ ‘Batman’ Unless It Actually Is
DC Studios has issued a statement to clarify the status of their upcoming film, Clayface, which is supposedly not connected to Matt Reeves’ The Batman. However, the producers, led by James Gunn, left the door wide open for potential connections, saying it could change at any moment. Gunn emphasized that while Clayface is its own entity, it somehow exists within the larger DC universe, which is a bit like saying it’s a standalone book that’s also part of a series—if you squint hard enough.
He went on to explain that viewers can dive into Clayface without needing to see prior films, but that’s subject to change. In a twist of logic that would make a pretzel jealous, he stated that Clayface is separate from Superman but somehow tied to the Pattinson Batman movies, and also connected to Peacemaker—specifically, season two, but only certain parts.
In a final flourish of confusion, Gunn noted that all these films are direct continuations of Iron Man 2. So, in short, if you’re planning to watch Clayface, just remember: it’s not connected, unless it is, and maybe it is, but also not really. Good luck keeping track!