Oct 27, 2026 · 3 min listen · Last updated October 27, 2026
From storyflo. This is your daily audio brief. Wit, October 27th. That's the joke. Here's why it landed — seven of them, actually. Let's get into it. First, from The Hard Times. Aging Goth Couple Barely Scare Each Other Anymore.
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Daily Comedy Brief · October 27th
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Aging Goth Couple Barely Scare Each Other Anymore
In Peoria, Illinois, an aging goth couple, Rob and Patricia Ferney, are grappling with the unfortunate reality that they can no longer scare each other like they used to. Their home, a permanent Halloween display, and their shared love for horror films have lost their edge over the years. Patricia reflects on how their once-thrilling scares have turned into a routine, leaving them feeling a bit stale.
Rob admits that after 15 years together, he’s just too familiar with Patricia’s scare tactics, leading them to couples counseling—held at a cemetery, no less. They’ve even resorted to Zoom sessions with their therapist, as finding one willing to meet in person at a graveyard proved challenging.
Therapists specializing in aging goth couples are few and far between, which makes their sessions uniquely entertaining, according to their counselor, Anna Rhys. While most couples deal with typical issues like parenting and communication, Rob and Patricia seek advice on more niche topics, like “survivable noose play.”
In a last-ditch effort to reignite the spark, they’re planning a trip to Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights, hoping that the thrill of the event—or at least the chaos of air travel—might bring back some excitement to their relationship.
It’s Time We Talked About How Few Members of the Zombies Have Died and Come Back
So, there's this amusing frustration about the band The Zombies and their lack of actual undead members. You know how when someone mentions them playing a gig, you half-expect to see some rotting faces on stage? Instead, it’s just a bunch of regular guys—some old, some young, but all very much alive.
The writer's not asking for a full-on zombie apocalypse on stage, but come on, a little effort wouldn’t hurt. Just imagine if they threw in some makeup or props from a Halloween store. It’s not like they need to be virtuosos; just a few undead bassists could spice things up.
And then there’s this hilarious thought about the living octogenarians roaming around, which somehow feels scarier than the idea of a zombie band. At least the zombies can’t vote, right? It’s a wild take on expectations versus reality in the music scene, and it’s hard not to chuckle at the absurdity of it all.
A: Hey, I just saw all the Halloween decorations you put up in the front yard. B: Pretty cool, huh? A: No. It’s not pretty cool. Why did you get only child-sized skeletons? And why so many of them? B: I thought our decorations should tell a story this year. A: Okay, well now our house looks like a really sad orphanage. B: That’s exactly what I was going for. A: Yeah, but what’s with the buckets and brooms? B: I thought it would be good for them to learn some discipline with weekly chores. A: So the decorations are doing chores? B: No, the children are doing chores.