Oct 31, 2026 · 4 min listen · Last updated October 31, 2026
From storyflo. This is your daily audio brief. Wit, October 31st. That's the joke. Here's why it landed — seven of them, actually. Let's get into it. First, from The Hard Times. Millennial Psychopath Hides Motorola Razrs in Candy Apples.
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Daily Comedy Brief · October 31st
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Millennial Psychopath Hides Motorola Razrs in Candy Apples
In Springwood, Ohio, a 37-year-old man named Jay Myers is revamping the classic urban legend of the razor blade in candy apples, but with a twist. Instead of blades, he's stuffing 2004 Motorola Razrs into the apples, aiming to put the “trick” back in trick-or-treat. Myers claims the challenge was getting the phones to fit, which sounds like a fun puzzle until you realize it’s a fruit-based horror show for kids.
The neighborhood kids aren’t impressed. One trick-or-treater, Nancy Doyle, called Myers a “wackjob” and was baffled by her dad’s excitement over the vintage tech. Apparently, the old phones are more of a nostalgic relic than a treat. Meanwhile, another parent, Sam Jarvis, expressed concern over the safety of Halloween treats, recalling past finds like a vinyl record hidden in a candy bar.
Despite the backlash, Myers seems undeterred and is already on eBay looking for Razor scooters to up his game for next year. So, it looks like this Halloween may just become a new tradition of bizarre surprises.
Anthony Davis Going To Halloween Party Right After Game
Picture this: he’s just finished sweating it out on the court, and instead of heading home to rest, he’s trading in his jersey for a costume. It’s like he’s trying to prove that even NBA stars can multitask, or maybe he just really loves candy corn.
You have to wonder about the logistics of this. I mean, what costume do you wear after a game? Do you go as a basketball? A referee? Or maybe just a guy who’s really tired but still wants to party? And let’s not forget the potential for awkward encounters with fans. “Hey, great game! Nice witch hat!”
It’s a classic case of “why not?” when you think about it. Who wouldn’t want to celebrate Halloween after a long day at work? But then again, there’s that faint chance of regret lurking in the background. You know, when you wake up the next morning and realize you may have made questionable life choices while dressed as a giant pumpkin.
Horror Punk House Denies Halloween Candy to Any Child Who’s Listened to Post-‘Art of Drowning’ AFI
In Fort Wayne, a horror punk house has taken Halloween gatekeeping to a new level, refusing candy to kids who’ve listened to AFI songs released after their 2000 album, “The Art of Drowning.” Elias Greenewalt, a resident with a devilock that could probably double as a weapon, insists that Halloween is for true horror punks only. He believes that letting in anyone who enjoys AFI’s later work would tarnish the holiday, as if a three-pack of Starburst could somehow corrupt the spirit of Halloween.
One trick-or-treater, Mariah Bilko, was caught off guard when she mentioned “Miss Murder” and got the door slammed in her face. She was more puzzled than upset, especially since she spotted Smarties in the candy bowl. Sounds like she’s plotting a little revenge with some eggs, though.
Sociologist Hamza Sardar chimed in, noting that this kind of genre-based gatekeeping during holidays isn’t new. He’s seen it before, like metalheads who won’t carol at houses without a King Diamond album. It’s a reminder that some folks can’t resist mixing their music preferences with every occasion, even when it leads to a candy drought for innocent trick-or-treaters. The horror punk house is now also denying treats to kids who think “Halloween” is an original AFI song, just to keep the stakes high.