Daily Comedy Brief · November 11th

Google announced that schools which block AI use entirely would have their access to web search restricted, a move meant to curb growing calls to ban artificial intelligence in K-12 education. What do you think? “The only corporation that should have this much power over our school system is Ticonderoga.” “Take away the Chromebooks, too, and we have a deal.” Jessica Grogan, Unlicensed Veterinarian “Perfect opportunity to teach kids that learning is a privilege corporations can revoke at any time.” Dexter Nash, Trapdoor Installer The post Google Withholds Search For Schools That Ban AI…

The “Stars and Asexual Pride” flag was the first to feature stars in a blue field, as well as stripes signifying the 13 original colonies’ lack of sexual attraction A flag with 20 stars, representing the highest number most Americans could count to at the time A yellow flag created to celebrate the invention of the banana Commissioned when President George H.W. Bush briefly believed Berlin would become the 51st state The first ADA-compliant flag with audio descriptions The post Evolution Of The U.S. Flag appeared first on The Onion.

Judgment cloudy with a high chance of regret Judgment cloudy with a high chance of regret Tailor Refers To Customer’s Ass As ‘The Situation Back Here’ Parents Quietly Rush To Finish Sex As Toddler Scratches At Locked Door Borat Voice Used For Victim Impact Statement Therapist Taking Other Personality’s Side Loudness Of Man’s Sneeze Clearly Some Sort Of Dominance Display Movie Old Enough To Refer To Every Drug As ‘Dope’ Man With Shellfish Allergy Killed By Gun Of All Things 811 Called Before Burying Victim In Yard NDA Violated At First Possible Opportunity Man Googles ‘Easy Hobbies’ TSA…

Thank you for calling the US Department of Veterans Affairs. To help us better serve you, please choose from the following options: If you are calling about an existing claim, press or say “one.” If you are calling about a new claim, press or say “two.” If you are convinced everyone is trying to kill you and it is making you go crazy, press or say “three.” Three. Thank you. The mental health of our veterans is one of the VA’s top priorities, and we want you to know that we are here to help.