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I Tried to Get Quaaludes

Kelly Oxford · kellyoxford

Sep 30, 2026 · 1 min listen · Last updated September 30, 2026

I heard that Quaaludes make you tranquilized and very horny. I immediately thought about all the jokes about husbands putting their unhappy wives on Quaaludes. The wife is sad, the husband is annoyed, the doctor has a pad, and everybody laughs because she’s finally quiet.

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I heard that Quaaludes make you tranquilized and very horny.

I immediately thought about all the jokes about husbands putting their unhappy wives on Quaaludes. The wife is sad, the husband is annoyed, the doctor has a pad, and everybody laughs because she’s finally quiet. Put horny in that joke and it’s a man slipping his wife something so she’ll calm down and want him. To me, it sounded like a Little House on the Prairie style rape drug. Pa rides into Walnut Grove for flour and nails and a little something for Ma’s attitude.

Unless these women were all aware it was a drug that would make them want sex. Maybe Ma asked for it by name. If she did, I owe a generation of housewives an apology and a high five.

So I researched.

Obviously. That’s all I do, all day, ever…

Was sexual desire ever given as a side effect to the women taking them? And also, where do I get them?

Y’all are going to love this.

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