Laura Loomer.
Umph, umph, umph.
I’ve noticed a pattern with you. You sure do spend a whole lot of time calling accomplished Black women a whole inventory of racist shit living inside your head.
Let’s see . . .
At different times, you’ve called Rep. Jasmine Crockett a “ghetto Black bitch,” 𝕏“Ghetto DEI Shaniqua,” “hood rat,” “ratchet,” “Ghetto boo thing” with “Shaniqua nails” who should be “working at KFC.”
You’ve called Congresswoman Cori Bush a “ghetto Black woman who can barely speak English.” While you were cheering former Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee’s death, you called her a “ghetto bitch” and the Somali Congresswoman Ilhan Omar a “Black dog.” You said former vice president Kamala Harris was a “stupid, brain-dead, lying, bitch.” I can’t stand Candace Owens but I’ve never fixed my brain to call her a “𝕏nappy-headed Black bitch” like you did.
Have you ever even met attorney Fani Willis? Because while discussing an event for Willis, you said it smelled like “fried chicken and marijuana,” then added, “Stereotypes exist for a reason.” Fani Willis, Kamala Harris and Attorney General Letitia James, you said, are “meritless DEI Shaniquas.” And now, you’ve said Rep. Angie Nixon, Ilhan Omar, Ayanna Pressley, Cori Bush and Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson are “ghetto, entitled, race-obsessed, destructive Black bitches.”
Girl, have you met * YOU*?
Of course you have.
And that’s exactly why not nary a Black woman in America should waste a single solitary brain cell trying to dignify the premise of any of your boolshit. Fuck all that when they go low we go high. No, I am not a child of the holy ghost. When degenerates like you go low on my people, I got to hell and sit next to the devil.
You keep calling Black women out their names because * you* have the awful burden of waking up every single day of your miserable life to bark into a mirror at a face that is all hostile geometry. Your dark eyebrows look like two ravens perched over a crime scene. Them eyebrows be headed northeast and northwest while your cheeks are located in neighboring jurisdictions with zoning disputes and your lips enter the room sideways. How is that nothin’ on that uglyass mug of yours connects to anything?
And when you smile, Jesus Christ on a plastic Walmart crucifix. Somebody sent out an Amber Alert for a missing MAGA cousin-husband! Because that creepy smile is givin’ the final boss of Spirit Halloween, or Real Housewife of the Waffle House Parking Lot on a good day. No, scratch that. It’s giving Bratz doll that got radicalized in a Haunted Sephora.
You are a walking hot mess, inside and out, which is why calling Black women “ghetto” and claiming they lack refinement is fucking breathtaking. And every time you open that fetid sewer mouth of yours to disrespect Black women, I ask the ancestors why in the hell irony hasn’t filed a restraining order against your racist ass. Have you convinced yourself that you are actually somehow refined? Dignified? Intellectually formidable? Those are rhetorical questions, Laura.
I suspect that what’s really eating you alive is that your old American racial coupon that promised white women cash back for not being Black, hasn’t done much for you. Has it made you more accomplished? Interesting? Intelligent? An attractive or elegant woman? A decent human being? Again, those are all rhetorical questions. And you and I both know that your racial coupon damn sure won’t make you any better than the Black women you spend your miserable days trying to degrade.
I know, that’s gotta hurt. Because what does a racist white woman like you have when you look at all those accomplished women and Blackness no longer automatically means inferior to you?
All you’ve got left is you, Laura Loomer. Only you.
You’ll never admit to it, but Laura Loomer ain’t even enough for Laura Loomer. You’re just a pale, attention hungry meat bag full of envy, insecurity, white grievance, and a bottomless need to feel racially superior. How awful that must be to have to wake up every day and live up to the lies of white superiority. Ugh.
And that’s why you keep reaching for Black women to dehumanize like we’re your damn emotional support animals or mammy dolls. Your vile comments ain’t about us, and you know it! You know that ain’t none of them accomplished Black women are beneath you. None of them. You keep insulting us because somewhere deep in that nasty little racial imagination of yours, you’re scared as hell that they are, in fact, better than you in every way. They should send you a reparations invoice for helping you hold your fragile self-esteem together with duct tape.
You are pitiful Laura. You need, yes need to call a Black woman a ghetto bitch before you wash your face and start your day. Then another one at lunchtime. And another successful Black woman to hawk spit on before you tuck yourself in bed underneath your musty MAGA comforter to help you sleep at night.
But here’s the thing, the ritual never cures you. It won’t. Because every morning the hate and racial dopamine high wears off again. And there you are again, still Laura Loomer, barking at the woman in the mirror just to make being you bearable. Because at the end of the day, Black women will still be accomplished and the one woman you never degrade enough to finally feel good about is you. You, Laura Loomer. You.
One day you will die, and the final eulogy on your life will be: “Here lies Laura Loomer, the MAGA movement’s racist hemorrhoid who never figured out how to make herself worth a damn because she wasted her whole empty life trying to turn Black women into nobodies and she failed.”
And when the maggots get a taste of your rotten flesh even they will cry: “PLEASE. RETURN. TO. SENDER.”
Thanks for reading. If this piece moved you or made you think, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. Your subscription keeps my Substack fueled and unfiltered. Paid subscriptions also help me support HBCU journalism students who need laptops, DSLR cameras, tripods, mics, lights, software, conference travel, reporting trips, and even food from our pantry. We appreciate your support!
A NOTE TO READERS: Commenting has recently been reserved for paid subscribers only due to the deluge of racist filth under my posts. So if you want to participate in the conversations here, please upgrade.
THIS CONTENT IS WRITTEN IN THE AUTHOR’S PERSONAL CAPACITY. ANY OPINIONS EXPRESSED ARE THE AUTHOR’S OWN AND SHOULD NOT BE ATTRIBUTED TO HOWARD UNIVERSITY OR MORGAN STATE UNIVERSITY.
