I’m not being metaphorical. AI humans are among us. And I’m pretty sure I spent an hour with one at a nearby dive bar.
Because people cannot be this stupid. People cannot be as stupid as they are acting on a first date. They have to be AI. They literally have to be AI.
Last month I matched with a man who looked perfectly wholesome. Beautiful. Big dark eyes, dark hair, a very friendly open face. Clean cut and pretty. I really like pretty men, so this worked. Men who wear button-up shirts and feel like they belong in a Disney movie also feel like men I would like to ravage in bed.
We agreed to meet at a bar. He showed up in a button-up pinstripe blue shirt like a one-man band for Mary Poppins, sat down, and ordered a Coca-Cola. Fine. Suspicious, but fine. We began to talk and the talk was basic, which is boring for me, because I’m hyperverbal, I want to get really deep really fast, but I take the pacing of the person I’m with. Except his pacing was off. He wasn’t matching my pacing. He was analyzing it.
I asked about his job. I said, oh, I don’t think we talked about work, what do you do? And he said, I work for Apple. And I said, what do you do for Apple? And he said, I work in design. And I said, designing the marketing or designing the prototypes?
That third question stopped him. He had to think. Then he said, marketing. Then he said, excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom.
