Just as I’m writing this, the sun seemingly splits a cloud down its center, gently…. warmly, reaching through my open window to find my hands as I type. With October at my back and my gaze toward the present, I only reach back for the lessons. Blessings disguised as losses or hurt, and the lines that I remember from the voices and mouths that I respect more than anything.
You see, there’s a moment in your life where your past is no longer a home to what hurt you… The inner work, the self-love, the long talks with people who care about you and your mental health… they point you in a new direction of thought, and what’s behind you… the things you’ve survived, the people who left, the times in which you felt discarded, misunderstood, or invisible.. none of that shows up as just hurt or anguish; it stops being sad… It stops feeling like a weapon forged against you… It becomes a former home that holds a lesson…a blessing… a gift of wisdom, a reminder of strength, a guide, a map, a code, or a key.
The past… my own… and yours, a mirror… a bridge… a road back but somehow forward. You see, as you’ve been living your life… as you’ve been fighting to get to this moment… as you’ve been surviving what fought against everything you’ve wanted or deserved… you’ve also been collecting a treasure of insight, and I’m finally at a point in my life where I can see everything for what it is and everyone for who they were…
The past is not here to hurt you… It’s also not a place to live… It’s also not a place to be ashamed of. It’s a place that tells a story of how you got to this moment in time. It’s a place full of records, highs and lows, gains and losses.
Be open, my therapist said, when I spoke about my past and how so much of it has dictated my ways of living and thinking- the ways my past has kept me stuck and, at times, indifferent to the good things happening all around me.
Be open, my therapist said… be open to the understanding that what has happened can’t be undone; it is out of your control because the past has passed, and there is no vehicle to get you back to what is behind you. You can only access it all through thoughts and memories, but physically, your body will always remain here in this moment and always in motion to get to what is ahead.
Be open, my therapist said… be open to what is coming, give nothing more to what is gone, but only look in the rearview mirror or think back to that place just to retrieve the keys that will open up whatever needs to be opened.
The word is open.. the phrase… be open, I’m open, I’m ready. I want that for you as well.
Happy you’re here… if you should ever find yourself stuck while healing.. I created something for the woman who is trying to find her way back to herself and may possibly need a little guidance… “ THE FULL RETURN TO YOURSELF “ is something I worked really hard on, and I want to share it with you. Click the button below if you’re interested, take care.
