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There Are Polymarket Ads In Fortune Cookies · Storyflo

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There Are Polymarket Ads In Fortune Cookies

Caitlin Johnstone · Caitlin’s Newsletter

Oct 25, 2026 · 1 min listen · Last updated October 25, 2026

There are Polymarket ads in fortune cookies. There are pop-ups in our prayers. There are paywalls on the monasteries, and the monks are millionaires. Well little Johnny’s gone to war. He joined the McMarines. The Iranians must be liberated and blown to smithereens.

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There Are Polymarket Ads In Fortune Cookies

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There are Polymarket ads in fortune cookies.

There are pop-ups in our prayers.

There are paywalls on the monasteries,

and the monks are millionaires.

Well little Johnny’s gone to war.

He joined the McMarines.

The Iranians must be liberated

and blown to smithereens.

Light a candle in the chapel, John,

and pray to Western God,

and listen to the homily

the preacher wrote with Claude.

“Oh Western God, please guide our drones,”

the pious Johnny prayed.

“That we may safely bomb their schools

and turn their children gray.”

The candle disappeared from sight

a minute into Johnny’s prayer,

and was replaced with hologram ads

for DraftKings and Wayfair.

Johnny placed his hand upon his heart

with reverence and love

and worshipped the blood-soaked, hungry god

in the great big bank above.

My work is entirely reader-supported, so if you enjoyed this piece here are some optionswhere you can toss some money into my tip jar if you feel inspired. All my work is free to bootleg and use in any way, shape or form; republish it, translate it, use it on merchandise; whatever you want. All works co-authored with my husband Tim Foley. No generative AI used in any works.

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