Lately, there’s been a great deal of talk about objective feminine beauty (ie: what straight men find attractive). This is a topic that is often in the discourse, because men can’t seem to agree on which traits are best, endlessly quibbling over ass versus boobs, blondes versus brunettes, like a bunch of guys arguing over fantasy football picks. Yes, we can all agree on the basics of what men find attractive, but you’d be surprised at how much is seemingly up for debate—and how these differences in preferences are treated as topics for objective arguments where someone can be “wrong” (usually denoted as “you’re gay”) as opposed to subjective taste.
While men bicker over their differences in taste, some women with special interests in being hot (many such cases) write guides, conduct studies, read studies, and try to boil men’s sexuality down to a science. I consider myself, to some extent, part of this, so I’m not criticizing. For me, it’s just a weird obsession (I’m also interested in what makes men attractive) but it’s also a backlash to platitudinous advice I’ve heard throughout my life to “not give a fuck about what men think,” and “be yourself,” negating the fact that wanting to look attractive and find a partner is pretty normal, and yet somewhat taboo to admit especially for straight women.
Now, I’ve written about the perils of “just be yourself,” as it relates to social skills (or lack thereof). I agree with beauty analyzers, such as Aria Schrecker or J. Sanilac, that “there’s someone for everyone” doesn’t take into account the amount of people into a certain thing, versus the amount of people who have it (for example, some people are into overweight people, but there are far more overweight people than people who find them attractive.) And yes, if you want to maximize your odds of finding a partner, whether you’re male or female, it makes sense to want to look attractive, and it makes sense to want the unfiltered truth about that, even if you, like 99.9% of people, fall short of the ideal.
But there is a secret third option which would benefit both men and women and does not require going under the knife, erasing your ethnicity, or sitting around hating yourself: to be the hottest version of your own “type,” as opposed to attempting to emulate a type that you believe is the scientific, objective, unanimous preference for an entire gender. Ultimately, if you are not naturally inclined to look a certain way, you will never look that way as well as the people who were born into it.
Being the hottest version of your own type—no matter your gender—will likely work out better for you anyway, especially if your goal isn’t to be a world-famous sex icon, but to find a partner who thinks you’re hot.
