In 1888, Alfred Nobel was startled to read his own obituary in a French newspaper. His brother had died, but the newspaper mistakenly believed Alfred was the one who had passed away. The obituary described him as a merchant of death who had grown rich from explosives. Confronted with how he would be remembered, Nobel began rethinking his legacy. Years later, he established the Nobel Prizes.
Sometimes we need to step back and ask a simple question: If my life ended today, would I be satisfied with how I spent it?
From time to time, we all feel life slipping away. We sense time passing, yet we are often unsure what to do about it. We don’t want to drift through life, but how do we use our resources wisely so that our lives are focused and intentional? How do we know we are on the right path, even if we never fully reach our destination?
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. — Steve Jobs,Stanford Commencement address
Despite knowing this, we often act as though we have all the time in the world. We postpone important decisions, delay meaningful work, and put off the things we know we should do.
While we are postponing, life speeds by.—Seneca, Moral Letters1
The first step toward living well is recognizing that our time is limited and that we cannot afford to postpone living.
Do not act as if you are going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over you. — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations4.17
Time is our most precious resource. Once a moment has passed, it can never be reclaimed. A good life is not measured by its length but by how wisely it is lived. If we use our time deliberately and focus on what truly matters, we can look back without regret, knowing that we have lived well.
But how do we do that? How do we ensure that we spend our limited time on what truly matters and avoid reaching the end of life burdened by needless regrets? Here are some ways we waste our lives, and what we can do about them.
No one deliberately plans to waste years of life. We don’t wake up and say, “Today, I am going to squander my future.” Yet many of us do exactly that, little by little, without intending to.
You decide to check social media for fifteen minutes. An hour later, you are still scrolling. You stop for a quick drink with friends. Before you know it, half the evening is gone. Individually, these moments seem harmless. Collectively, they consume years.
We ought not to make our lives like a vessel that drifts with every wind.—Plutarch, On Tranquillity of Mind
Because we waste time unintentionally, it helps to pause periodically and ask whether what we are doing is what we really *want *to be doing.
Where is progress, then? If any of you, withdrawing himself from externals, turns to his own will to exercise it and to improve it.—Epictetus, Discourses 2.16
Different people want different things from life. Some seek wealth. Others seek power, status, or pleasure. Not everyone is striving for a well-lived life.
People tend to judge us according to their values, not ours. If we place too much importance on their opinions, we gradually lose sight of our own goals. We start living a life that earns approval rather than a life that fulfills us.
Most men live not by reason, but by opinion.—Plutarch, On Moral Virtue
To live the life we want, we must focus on what matters to us and not allow other people’s expectations to determine how we spend our limited time.
Many of us are so focused on tomorrow that we neglect today. We worry about the future, plan for it, and prepare for it, but often fail to do what needs to be done now.
When tomorrow becomes today, we repeat the pattern.
A simpler, more effective approach is to focus on today’s responsibilities and let tomorrow arrive in its own time.
Lay hold of today’s task, and you will not need to depend so much upon tomorrow’s.—Seneca, Moral Letters 1
If we take care of today, tomorrow will largely take care of itself. We don’t need to live our entire lives at once. We don’t have to master wisdom, courage, moderation, and justice forever. We need only practice them today.
Having a purpose and a plan matters, but purpose shouldn't become rigidity.
As we move through life, we gain experience. We learn new things. We discover that some of our assumptions were wrong. The wise person adapts accordingly.
We don’t have to change direction every time a new idea comes along, but we should remain open to evidence, experience, and growth.
We should not be afraid to change either our purpose or our position, provided we do not exchange steadfastness for fickleness.—Seneca, Moral Letters 2.2
A meaningful life requires both commitment and flexibility: commitment to our values and flexibility in how we pursue them.
We may sometimes feel that we are drifting and that life is passing us by. To regain control, we must recognize that:
We often waste time without realizing it.
We let other people’s opinions shape our choices.
We postpone what needs to be done today.
We cling too rigidly to plans that no longer serve us.
Once we recognize these tendencies, we can begin to live more intentionally and use the time we have better.
Set aside fifteen minutes and answer the following questions in writing:
What activities occupy most of my time?
Of those activities, which truly matter to me?
What am I postponing that I know I should do now?
Am I spending time on things because I value them, or because others expect me to?
If I continued living exactly as I do now for the next five years, would I be satisfied with where I ended up?
What is one thing I can stop doing?
What is one thing I can start doing today?
Finally, ask yourself: If today were a typical day in the life I am creating for myself, would I be pleased to live it again tomorrow?
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